Cannot vs. Can

The move into the beginning of the Severe Stage of Alzheimer’s kind of took me by surprise. It happened gradually. Over the last few weeks, Dad has become more confused, more disoriented, more prone to emotional outbursts, more combative, more likely to blame others for things he has done, more intense on the things he fixates on, more likely to make things up to fill in memory gaps in the stories he repeatedly tells. Then you have the things he is less… less able to recognize family members who live outside our home, less able to remember something that happened moments before, less able to complete a simple task, even with direction.

There is a wonderful poem (anonymous) that was written for Cancer patients. I am going to share it here. It is full of promise.

What Cancer CANNOT Do
Cancer is so limited---
It cannot cripple love,
It cannot shatter hope,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot destroy peace,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot suppress memories,
It cannot silence courage,
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot steal eternal life,
It cannot conquer the spirit.


Now, let’s relate that to Alzheimer’s…

What Alzheimer’s CAN Do
Alzheimer’s is so limiting---
It can cripple love,
It can shatter hope,
It can corrode faith,
It can destroy peace,
It can kill friendship,
It can suppress memories,
It can silence courage,
It can invade the soul,
It can conquer the spirit.

I purposely left out one line of the poem as it is the only thing the two have in common… IT CANNOT STEAL ETERNAL LIFE! It is a robbing disease. It steals everything from you. With Alzheimer’s, there is NO promise other than it will rob you blind.


Do I sound angry? I have a right to be! Day in and day out, I watch this disease steal a tiny bit more of someone I love very much.
I pray for strength, understanding and patience. I pray a miracle will happen and someone will someday find a cause and a cure. I pray for all the others who are in my shoes providing full time care to their loved ones. I also pray that the people who read this never have to LIVE it. I know I couldn’t do any of this if I didn’t believe in the power of prayer.

I’m not preaching to anyone. I am simply telling it the way I see it because I am here living it. I am dealing with Dementia.