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The Twilight Years Are Here

The Twilight Years Are Here

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Weekend of Her Passing

On April 24th, the evening of Mom’s death, a dear friend of mine sent me a text. Their concern was evident. The following is exactly what I wrote in my reply, “I feel so blessed and peaceful… Not what I expected. But had no real expectations. Just trust that God is at work.”
“All of it has been ugly beyond belief. It has also been more beautiful than can be imagined. I don’t know why I was so lucky to be chosen for this…doesn’t matter…just thankful I was.”
Those words will always hold true for me. At times, I feel a physical pain because I miss her so much. I awaken during the night and lie in bed listening for the creak of her wheelchair sneaking into the kitchen, knowing it will never come again. I think of things every day that I want to tell her or show her. But I draw comfort from my belief that she already knows.


The following morning, Melissa and the kids were at the house. As soon as Ayla saw Pop (Dad) she ran to him. She rapidly explained that Munner was in the sky and when she looked down, she could see us. She used her fingers to illustrate how small each of us looks to Munner as she went through a roll call of all our names. Then she took Pop’s hand and said, “Pop, Munner loves us very much. Her said so.”
Dad placed his hand on Ayla’s head as he gently patted her curls. With tears in his eyes, he softly replied, “That’s right, Sweetheart. That’s right.”


That night, Cameryn stayed the night with us. Jordyn had spent the last 2 weeks at Melissa’s so I decided it was time she had a bit of a break. It was an uneventful until the following morning.
Cam approached me as soon as I was up Sunday morning. He announced that Jordyn had fallen asleep first last night so he had stayed up playing cards with Munner. My heart twisted and lurched. He explained that he had sat at the table across from her “spot” and dealt them both cards. He said he had to look at her cards to “help her play” but he didn’t “cheat at all”. With a big grin he said, “We had a lot of fun but it’s just not fair because she still won!”
***Mom was an avid card and game player. I am not surprised in the least that she is still winning***


Tyler spent Sunday and Monday trying to find her. Occasionally he would call out, “Munner” while running through the hallway or into their bedroom. For Dad’s sake I am thankful that at almost 2 years old he is still a bit difficult to understand.


Jordyn has been the least vocal of the children. Every once in a while, he reachs out and touches things in passing that belonged to her, a deep sadness in his eyes. But as the oldest, he is either unwilling or unable to express how he feels about the loss. I am confident he will in his own time and in his own way.

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