May 20, 2010

I got up this morning excited at the prospect of going for a long walk on the beach. My solitary walks have become a vital part of my mental health routine. I haven’t been able to resume the habit since 3 days before Mom was hospitalized (over a month ago).
I realized I had neither hat nor sunglasses as I headed home from getting the boys off to school. I decided to go home, change into my swimsuit (might as well get some sun) and grab both. But, when I arrived, Richard was up and getting ready to go job hunting. I, of course, have to be here so I settled on a compromise of going later when he got back home.
As usual, God had a plan. If I had gone, I would have missed a very important telephone call. Just before Richard left, the house phone rang and he said it was for me. I absolutely never get calls on that phone. He brought it to me and sat down to see who it was.


It was the State Attorney’s office calling to tell me, “In light of your mother’s recent death, we don’t have enough evidence to take Ms. M (T, the infamous ex-caregiver) to trial. Her deposition is null and void because she can’t testify now.
We want to offer her a diversion package that would, of course, include a stipulation that she can never have contact with anyone in the family again. If she did, she would be incarcerated.”
“But what about stopping her from being able to do this again?” I asked as I felt panic begin to rise inside me. “Don’t you get that she preys on the elderly? She takes their money and drains them dry!”
“Well, we do not have the authority to take away her license.”
“What license?” I was almost shrieking. “She is not licensed to practice in the medical field. She let it lapse a couple of years ago and hasn’t renewed it as of last week. Look it up on the internet. I do every couple of months! Her business license???”
He interjected, “You would have to get in touch with the licensing bureau about that…”
“Look, Mom couldn’t have testified anyway. I have tried to tell you that before. She had DEMENTIA. I want to know what can be done to stop T from going out and doing the same thing to other elderly people?” I cried, “The elderly need protection from people like her! I don’t care whether she goes to jail or not. I just don’t want her doing this to anybody else!”
His voice filled with compassion at my outburst, “I will see if we can get a condition set into motion that she can NOT work with the elderly again. I’ll see what I can do and give you a call back, probably this afternoon.”
“I’m here to help you,” he reminded softly. “If this goes forward, your dad is going to have to come in and give us a deposition.”
My voice with thick with the frustration I felt, “He isn’t capable of that! He has Alzheimer’s. He is so confused on the T issue, he thinks she was stealing their pills and going to Mexico to sell them. Half the time, he will tell you that and the other half of the time, He will tell you he thinks she is in jail. He can’t remember what he ate for dinner 5 minutes after he leaves the table!”
“If we attempt to prosecute, we won’t have any choice. His condition will be taken into consideration but he will HAVE to give us the deposition. Let me see if I can get the no elderly condition to go through first.”


As I hung up the phone, I was livid! I get that Mom was T’s main victim. I get that maybe T shouldn’t go to jail over the missing pills (I still think, with good reason, someone else was stealing them). But what about the unauthorized charges on Dad’s credit card? What about the evidence of neglect (and her poor judgment) as time went on? What about the things that were stolen from the house (yes, I know it couldn’t be proven but she and her employees were the only ones here when the items of considerable value went missing)! I do not get why she should be allowed to have ANY opportunity to EVER prey on another elderly person again.
I am indignant! I am furious! I am in physical pain at the thought that she will get a slap on the wrist after all she has put this family through. And I am sickened by the possibility of not being able to prevent it from happening to someone else…

***** If you are lost about T and how she fits in, please see “It Only Takes One Bad Caregiver to Ruin You” **** originally published on this blog on March 22, 2010.